Guard Your Gates

Relationships are the network for life.

⁃ AR Bernard

Are you guarding your relationships gate? We all need relationships. However, sometimes we have to reshuffle the network deck and change some of the relationship cards we’ve been dealt. Often the key to your success is attached to the people in your circle. Before that time comes, here is a way to think about how you manage your relationship portfolio. I call it the “buy-hold-sell” approach.

The “buy-hold-sell” approach is a simple way to think about how you manage your relationships. The idea is that you should “buy” relationships that are critical to your growth and development, “hold” onto relationships that you value, and “sell” relationships that are unhealthy.

This approach is used everyday by investors and portfolio managers. Generally, you want to buy stocks that will enhance your portfolio and hold stocks that will produce long-term growth and stability. Next, you want to sell those stocks that have not only become obsolete, but dampen the success of your overall portfolio.

There is a lot of truth to the old adage, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” This phrase is often used to suggest that your legacy is intertwined with the people you associate with. It implies that the people you choose to spend time with can have an impact on the decisions you make and the direction your life takes. In other words, every relationship matters. When it comes to “buying” relationships or adding someone to your network, it’s important to think about what effect that person will have on your life. Ask yourself are they adding or diminishing the value of your relationship portfolio.

When it comes to “holding” onto relationships, it’s important to nurture them and make sure that they are healthy and growing. These relationships are keepers. Those lifelong friends who will love and support you through all of the stages of your life are the most important relationships you can have because they help you maintain balance. Be careful not to take these relationships for granted. That means your parents still need to hear from you. Lol.

Finally, when it comes to “selling” relationships, it’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer healthy. This could be because of a change in circumstances, or simply because the relationship has run its course. In these cases, it’s important to be honest and open about the situation and to end the relationship in a respectful way. Don’t procrastinate on this step. If you have come to the conclusion that the relationship devalues you, waste no time in putting an end to it. I caution that this is not a snap judgement. This is not marital advice, nor parental counseling. In those special relationships, you should seek professional, and if you are. Open to it, spiritual guidance, before taking action.

Before you liquidate your entire portfolio, give the buy-hold-sell approach to managing your relationship portfolio a try. Remember, relationships are an important part of our lives, so it’s important to manage them in a way that leaves you healthy and productive.